Wednesday, July 22, 2009

"You can't change other people...

only your reaction to them." A friend of mine shared this quote with me recently. Yes, have been trying to tell me this for a while as well. It's a very hard lesson to learn, mainly because it is hard watching the people around you be fooled by someone else. You wonder to yourself "why are they so blind to what this person is really doing, really like?" Then of course when someone does try to tell them what this person really is (a lying, whining, manipulative person who probably plays the victim card better than anyone you have seen...especially for that age), they go into denial and jump to the defensive instead. They aren't even willing to open their eyes and ears and hear and see the truth. They think they know this person pretty well...they feel like they are close to them. I just think they are too close to the situation and they need to take a step back (okay, a lot of steps back) and see it from a different view. It's especially hard when this person uses their manipulating and lying against you and your family and then their side is taken because "oh, they wouldn't lie to me..." Well you know, it's just hurtful!

It hurts to see the people you care about the most get pushed aside by the people who should care about them as much as you do in favor of the manipulator. But again like Doug is always telling me "if they want to act like that than there is nothing you can do about it. But they will be the ones missing out in the end." He's right...though it's hard to let it go. If they want to put all their time and energy into the person that is using them instead of into the people that truly care for them, then they will be the ones missing out in the end. But you can never stop hoping that someday (preferably soon) they will open up their eyes and see the truth (see the person for what they really are and stop thinking that they are "part of the family"), before the people who should really matter (and are really part of the family) are hurt and relationships are damaged beyond repair.

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